One Year.

Linley turns ONE tomorrow, so I've been taking a little trip down Memory Lane.

I keep thinking about this time last year.

I just re-read my Birth Story.

It doesn't actually feel that long ago.

I can remember those feelings of anticipation and excitement like it was yesterday.

Surprisingly I can't really remember the pain.

Maybe because the prize was so worth all the pain.

This night One Year ago was a little like Christmas Eve.

Well, minus the pain, exhaustion, and contractions.

I was hoping and praying I wouldn't have to wait much longer to meet my girl.

I knew it was close.

I knew it would be great.

I never knew it would be so great.

Tonight it's a little like Christmas Eve again.

Tomorrow we're having a party to celebrate our little one year old.

All the planning and anticipation will come together as we celebrate One Year.

I doubt it will be as great as the actual birth day.

That day was magical.

But we'll do our best!

Oh no!

What have I done?

I know I'm not the first or the last mom to struggle with getting a baby to sleep in their crib ... but here I am admitting how bad I am at it.

Sure, I had great intentions to do Baby Wise while I was pregnant and I loved the information I read in Sleep Sense, but somehow those tips and techniques never translated to real life. Partly, because I didn't want to be on a schedule. I wanted Linley to be able to go with the flow. Selfishly, I didn't want to have to be home by a certain time or be stuck at home while she napped. And in all fairness, she is a great baby. She goes with the flow. We can go anywhere and everywhere at anytime. She sleeps great (as long as she's in bed with us) and she is happy all the time. She rarely cries, even when she's tired. And, it works. We don't mind that she sleeps with us. We actually kind of like snuggling all night!

It donned on me though, that if we ever decide to leave her we may have some issues. Will she sleep if I'm not right there? If she's not in our bed? And, that brings me to the little test we decided to perform two nights ago.

I nursed Linley. She fell asleep in my arms, and I took her into her crib. She'll usually stay asleep in her crib for a few hours before waking up about 2 or 3 AM. At that point I'll usually bring her back to bed with us. I nurse her and we both fall back to sleep. Well on that night, the minute I sat her down she started crying. We let her cry for about an hour. She stood up in her crib and screamed the entire time.

Now, she refuses to even be by her crib. If we're in her room and I say, "Linley, do you want to sleep in your crib?" she squeezes me tight.

Today, I put her in her crib after she fell asleep in my arms. Same thing. Screamed and stood up the second I put her in the crib. I let her cry for about 30 minutes but then I became a wimp.

It's hard. I hate it. And, it makes it even worse that I can watch her every agonizing move.

Any advice?

a FULL load

Okay so this is the literal example of a FULL load, but lately I've had a FULL load.

We are busy. Poor little Linley practically lives in her stroller and car seat. I swear we're always on the go, and it definitely doesn't help that we're commuting to Salt Lake every single day. Good thing she's so easy going. I keep thinking things will slow down soon, but I'm not sure I see an end in sight.

You should have seen our closet, bathroom, bedroom, living room, kitchen before I finally had a minute to tidy up. I never thought I would leave the house or go to bed without everything put away, the bed made, the laundry done. I guess I'm proving my mother right. She kept telling me things would change when I had a baby. I still remember the day I asked her not to put waters in the refrigerator because she wasn't making sure they're all straight. It's pretty funny, because now I'm lucky if I even get waters in the refrigerator.

Isn't it funny how we change? How we deal with situations differently as we experience more?

I think if I was bored silly we'd have a problem. I think busy is good. I'm learning though, that if I'm going to busy I've got to find ways to take a breather. I've got to stop and take a minute to read Linley a story, or crawl around the floor with her. This week it also meant putting Linley to bed and staying up for a couple hours doing laundry, cleaning, and regrouping.

How do you regroup? How do you deal with having a FULL load?

Tradition?

It can be hard to start new traditions, but there's one tradition that I've actually enjoyed being a part of the last few years. It started just a few months after I started working at KSL. I was given the task of producing 4 stories for KSL's broadcast of the Days of '47 Parade. Having never lived in Salt Lake, I had no idea where to begin. Luckily, I got some help.

Luckily my sister-in-law Meagan, and her mom Janice are parade junkies and had been for a long time. It started with Janice. It had been a tradition in her family to watch the parade from Main Street, and it got passed down to Meagan who slept out every year to get a good spot on the route until she started having babies. Now, she just gets up really early to get a good spot.

They've included me the last 3 years, and I have so enjoyed watching the parade with them. Which brings me back to the point of this whole post. I was sitting at lunch with some women from St. George the other day and somehow the parade came up. I said I was going. Then, all but one of the women asked what parade I was talking about. I replied, "I go every year, it's tradition."

Sometimes, traditions start without us even knowing. It's fun, and it's fun to include others in our traditions. I'm so thankful I was included in a tradition that started so many, many years ago.

* These are the only pictures I've ever taken at the parade. So sad. I'm for sure going to be better at documenting our parade watching!

Breastfeeding: Why I love it.

Nursing somehow came up the other day while I was in the makeup room getting ready for Studio 5. A colleague asked me what I liked about it. I immediately told her how much I love nursing and that I am a total advocate of it, but I didn't have time to share some of the reasons I love breastfeeding and some of the observations I've made over the last 10 months.

→ It takes some getting used to.

I remember thinking to myself, "Oh my, is this how my boobs are going to feel forever?" They were engorged and I had sore nipples. It was uncomfortable, but it didn't last forever. Think about pregnancy. It's not always comfortable, and it lasts 9 months. I was nauseous for the first 20 weeks. My boobs felt normal again after 6 weeks. Nursing was also something I had never done before. Of course it was going to take some getting used to, I'd never done it before.

→ Support is a must.

I come from a long line of breastfeeders, so I had a built in support system. When I was in the hospital, I had the lactation consultant come to my room a number of times. It is critical to get all the help and support you can.

→ You can't stress.

I was lucky. My milk came in the day I got home from the hospital, and I didn't even feel it. Linley latched on right away, and has always been a good nurser. I think part of the reason it went so smooth is because I didn't stress. I let my body do what it was made to do. (It helped that my Mom didn't allow me to stress.) I also think it's easy to stress that you're baby isn't getting enough, or you're not making enough milk. It's all about supply and demand. Who says you aren't making enough milk? Unless your baby is losing weight, your'e probably making plenty. And, you have to remember for the first little bit your body is trying to figure out how much to make. It's always changing, so is your baby.

→ You don't have to supplement.

I'm sure there are times and reasons when supplementing is necessary, but most of the time it's not. Back to supply and demand. Your baby tells your body how much milk to make. If your baby is getting formula, he or she will need less milk.

→ There's not a magic number.

Our husbands typically eat more than we do. And, I may eat more than my sister or friend. We all eat different amounts, so to think that every baby is going to eat the exact same number of ounces is silly. The other day I pumped for the first time in a long time. I got nothing out of one, and about 4 ounces out of the other. I started to stress a little, and worried maybe she wasn't getting enough ... but she's fine. She's happy and she's eating baby food so the ounces are going to vary.

→ Time to rest.

Nursing ensures that a mom sits down and relaxes throughout the day. Linley only takes a few minutes to nurse now, but I cherished the hours and hours I was able to sit down and take a break and nurse.

→ The bond factor.

It's such a great time to bond with your baby. I love that breastfeeding is something only I can do with my baby.

→ It's what's best for baby.

The nutrition is amazing. Colostrum and breast milk are full of everything a baby needs to grow and develop. It's a power food.

A girl I went to college with started a project called At Mother's Breast. Click here to read more about the project. I've really enjoyed hearing other mom's thoughts on breastfeeding.